tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post5271191486735818262..comments2024-03-16T04:41:31.173-03:00Comments on Counting Coconuts: "Socializing" Our Homeschooled ChildCounting Coconutshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09417165680507471874noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-27963084921099222712014-01-20T15:52:26.826-04:002014-01-20T15:52:26.826-04:00Sometimes, I think what people are actually wantin...Sometimes, I think what people are actually wanting to ask when they bring up socialization is "aren't you worried about your child being cool?"Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05053228903385133636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-82165310927486658242013-07-11T08:51:36.363-03:002013-07-11T08:51:36.363-03:00Hi! I live in Bermuda and would love to connect wi...Hi! I live in Bermuda and would love to connect with the homeschooling co-op here. Help a sista out! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06469961635204704337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-65145713309275863682012-03-01T01:37:35.223-04:002012-03-01T01:37:35.223-04:00this sort of makes me laugh - I home school my thr...this sort of makes me laugh - I home school my three children (10, 8 & 5) and we actually had/have to say NO to so many opportunities with our co-ops and groups! We are so busy with activities it is insane. I have to remind my kids constantly that we actually do have to have school at home sometime during the week! hee hee My kids attended a private Christian school up until this year (just not good enough I have to say) and they are way more "socialized" this year as homeschooler than they ever were attending a private school!tiarastantrumshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03036618235332598079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-52622201866894109922012-02-27T16:09:56.431-04:002012-02-27T16:09:56.431-04:00Great post thanks for this! I really needed a gen...Great post thanks for this! I really needed a gentle reminder about why I'm homeschooling!Becky Pfennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702704790799799840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-47389593931697732142011-05-20T12:20:43.171-03:002011-05-20T12:20:43.171-03:00Thanks so much for sharing your point of view. My ...Thanks so much for sharing your point of view. My husband and I are researching the topic and I learned a lot by reading this post. Currently, my husband and I have different opinions about Homeschooling for the reason of socialization. I really appreciate your thoughts and I completely agree with you. Its nice to see so many woman who have commented supporting homeschool. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way and that I'm not weird for feeling this way too. Thanks again and I love your blog!Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14722846360994814620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-53425700440897098822011-05-19T09:48:42.148-03:002011-05-19T09:48:42.148-03:00Wonderful post, thank you! I completely agree with...Wonderful post, thank you! I completely agree with you on all counts. I homeschool my children (ages 5 and 2) and I get asked that question often. It helps me to remember that I had that same question myself before knew much about homeschooling. I try to answer as patiently as I can, without getting defensive or attacking the public school system (no easy feat!) I love your blog and read it often, you have great ideas for games, crafts and activities. It's so nice to read some inspirational words this morning about the "socialization" of homeschooled children :)Mélaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04293613225043604100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-13146736445652970022011-05-18T18:23:51.968-03:002011-05-18T18:23:51.968-03:00I enjoyed reading all of the comments, so I though...I enjoyed reading all of the comments, so I thought I'd leave one too. :) My children are 3.5, almost 2, and littlest due in October, and we do preschool at home and are planning to homeschool. I do think children need to be away from their parents and spend time with other children...eventually. Can you imagine what an 18 year old would be like, who was always with his mom? But, of course, that won't happen...eventually, naturally, my children will want (and need) to play sports, take music classes, hang out with friends, etc - without me. I don't think forcing it early is all that important, or worth it. Like you, we do plenty of activities outside the home. Most are with me, with a few exceptions. I will admit that I am sometimes tempted to look into full-time schools for little ones...but that's only when the little ones have worn out this pregnant mom and I'm grumpy! ;) I'm finding it's really important for me to be at peace with our decisions and not try to duplicate what would happen in a school as we begin homeschooling.Monicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11360194582653685073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-60659538938820678152011-05-18T16:46:24.736-03:002011-05-18T16:46:24.736-03:00Truly loved reading this post. I plan on homescho...Truly loved reading this post. I plan on homeschooling and have been faced with the question more times than I can count. I too find it offensive at times. Reading your post has only reiterated my own beliefs.Barbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04055715420019845880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-70807987037877581232011-05-17T08:38:55.646-03:002011-05-17T08:38:55.646-03:00Well stated Mari-Ann!! You are CLEARLY providing a...Well stated Mari-Ann!! You are CLEARLY providing a well balanced life for James. He'll come away from it all smarter and better socialized than kids that go to school outside the home because he'll have had one on one attention with his studies and he'll have met a huge variety of people along the way. GREAT JOB, mommy!!!Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08194011255601499576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-12527349908379545122011-05-16T08:49:25.473-03:002011-05-16T08:49:25.473-03:00I've been thinking about this post, Mari-Ann, ...I've been thinking about this post, Mari-Ann, and would like your opinion about something I've experienced (if you don't mind, and have the time!)... <br />I feel very much as you do - that my child is receiving all kinds of opportunities to socialize and I don't feel that he is lacking in social skills (for his age); but when I get remarks about not sending him to a "real" preschool, and I take the time to list all that we do socially, I sometimes get remarks about how the problem is not that he isn't getting these opportunities, but that *his mother is with him* for all of these. Somehow there's the idea that he needs to be away from me in order to become his own person. I'm not quite sure how to answer this, although I react strongly to it on an emotional level...<br />Any thoughts? :)Nicole {tired, need sleep}https://www.blogger.com/profile/13395532136969657091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-8351296773093382512011-05-16T01:41:31.808-03:002011-05-16T01:41:31.808-03:00Let me preface this by saying if my child wanted t...Let me preface this by saying if my child wanted to be homeschooled I would homeschool him. And that I firmly believe that there is nothing inherently wrong with homeschooling and its just as much a valid choice as anything else. There are positives and negatives to every schooling choice. <br /><br />However, the small liberal arts university where I attended attracted a high number of homeschooled students. And I can't say that I agree that it is a completely unfounded stereotype. Is it unfounded that all homeschooled children have to be unsocialized? yes. <br /><br />One of my roommates was homeschooled and I saw her struggle through social situations that I certainly never saw any of our other peers struggle through. In fact quite a few of her behaviors reminded me of things I witnessed in junior high she was just experiencing them much later in life.<br /><br />That coupled with the fact that I had a very good friend (who was homeschooled and very socially graceful) used to swear that he could pick out a homeschooled person within 60 seconds of meeting them, something I saw him do with incredibly accuracy. <br /><br />Do I think socialization can be a problem with homeschool students? yes. Just as B12 deficiencies can be a problem with vegetarians (how we're choosing to raise our child) do people sometimes challenge us on this as if we've never thought of it before, yes. But my son drinks kombucha and occasionally eats fish and never on any of his annual anemia test (B12 deficiencies also affect iron) has there ever been any hint of a problem.<br /><br />Are these ridiculous questions? Well only in that I think they're ridiculously tacky to ask but the truth of it is that sometimes it can be a problem.Kaleenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02678239084027214533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-51157839869784713712011-05-15T20:43:59.114-03:002011-05-15T20:43:59.114-03:00It is really a ridiculous question, isn't it??...It is really a ridiculous question, isn't it??? If you know anything about homeschool you would know how silly it is. I've finally resorted to saying: "Have you met my children?!" (in a kind of snarky voice!)Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02970099218868566265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-71902166800336042292011-05-15T20:32:41.855-03:002011-05-15T20:32:41.855-03:00amen sister!! :-)amen sister!! :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-67848441343152046082011-05-15T19:39:45.855-03:002011-05-15T19:39:45.855-03:00Mar, I wanted to make some sort of witty comment a...Mar, I wanted to make some sort of witty comment about high school socializing and am still found wanting. I think WE socialized rather nicely. ;-)Leighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02993773218729396185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-71949899741221745232011-05-15T17:38:22.229-03:002011-05-15T17:38:22.229-03:00Aunt Annie, you might find this post here
http://w...Aunt Annie, you might find this post here<br />http://www.jennifermcgrail.com/2011/05/my-sheltered-children.html<br />interesting. <br />Although it doesn't directly answer your question about HE kids and 'difficult' people, I think it perhaps responds to your initial assumption that just because we HE that our children only have contact with nice, cosy people. On the contrary our kids often have a huge range of experiences and alot of freedom to mix and learn from others who are not like them. <br /><br />Being in a (mostly misunderstood0 minority group (as home edders are in the UK) my children are often faced with questions, ignorance and occasionally prejudice about their way of life. But I've always been proud at the way they have dealt with it.<br /><br />Fwiw I don't teach my kids how to deal with difficult people (I don't actually teach my kids at all!), but I do try to be a good - or at least honest lol - example. My children spend alot of time around adults and children of mixed age and gender, and witness a whole range of emotions and interactions, not just those between same-age classmates. I'm with them for much of the day so they don't see a sanitised version of me or my parenting - it's warts and all! :) From this experience they learn that relationships are complicated, that people are different and can have different opinions yet still be tolerant of each other, or in many cases be good friends with each other. They see adults resolve arguments or fall out and make up. They also know I eat too much chocolate lol.<br /><br />I also think HE has given my children time to grow into themselves. They are therefore very confident (far more confident than I was as a child lol) and have a strong inner core of self-belief that enables them to choose how to respond to less pleasant people without taking it personally or feeling the need to follow a peer group for approval. Sometimes that does mean that they withdraw, walk away, but as a positive choice, rather than through fear, shame or intimidation.Big mamma froghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03006397435397636499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-65655140005956981102011-05-15T16:47:39.793-03:002011-05-15T16:47:39.793-03:00I would like to say how much I enjoyed reading you...I would like to say how much I enjoyed reading your post as well as all the wonderful comments. Someone questioned how homeschoolers deal with difficult people, when given the opportunity to just separate from them. To answer that, I must simply say that our children deal with "mean" people on a daily basis- at the grocery store, at the park, at church (gasp!)and yes- even at homeschool gatherings and co-op. This is just a part of life, unfortunately and there is no ecaping it. I do feel though that those situations in which our children see those sorts of behaviors are more "real life" as opposed to a classroom full of same aged children. They can then learn how to deal with them and learn from them. Thank you to everyone for sharing!Faithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02166820676957204640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-71349456259167540632011-05-15T00:16:56.122-03:002011-05-15T00:16:56.122-03:00We wanted C to go to a Waldorf school two mornings...We wanted C to go to a Waldorf school two mornings a week ..we went to the tours and started to fill the paper work but WE BACKED UP and decided it is not time yet.Our principal reason to tried tos ent her to a program was "socializacion" and dealing with"problems" on her own...But we thought she is very sociable already...my goodness..twice a weel a trip to the library..she has ballet/tap classes..and next month starts violin lessons..playdates once a week..zoo trips..and of course we take her to the park very often...WHAT ELSE do we need to do??We are doing what we think is right for her..she doesn't need to go to a school to learn to socialize..people give us a break!! I AM A PROUD HOMESCHOOLER MOMMY AND MY CHILD IS A HAPPY CHILD JUST LIKE OUR ADORABLE JAMES : )Olives and Pickleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03732833409515576314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-46801545848079626762011-05-14T21:25:13.904-03:002011-05-14T21:25:13.904-03:00It's sad that people feel the need to judge ot...It's sad that people feel the need to judge others' choices. We're all doing the best we can.<br /><br />I found your post very interesting food for thought, as someone who went through the school system and also sent her child through the school system. I was a very self-contained child and I am asking myself, what would I have missed if my (teacher) mother had been able to home-school me instead of having to work herself?<br /><br />The answer is mixed. I would have avoided the vicious bullying, and so would my son; I would have avoided the poor standard of some of the teaching. I would have had more time to nurture my talent and love for the arts, and spent less time poring over lessons I already understood in class.<br /><br />But on the other hand, I would also have missed out on meeting at least one life-long friend and several teacher-mentors who have changed my life for the better. Perhaps you can cover that using the group activities you mention, though I do feel that my relationship with my best friend of over 40 years is stronger for having been side by side every school day.<br /><br />And I suspect that I would have found reaching out to others even harder than I already do, as I would have remained surrounded by 'safe' people instead of learning how to deal with 'difficult' people without taking their jibes and nastiness personally. <br /><br />So, question- how do you teach your home-schooled children to deal with 'difficult' people, given that they have a constant opportunity to just withdraw?Aunt Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08799746597313773030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-63961227079885385862011-05-14T19:28:57.156-03:002011-05-14T19:28:57.156-03:00Ah yes, the S word! Funny how so many people ask a...Ah yes, the S word! Funny how so many people ask about it when you home educate, as if mixing with 30 same-age children all day for years in school is a good example of 'socialisation' :)<br /><br />Joyful learner - I sympathise. There are times when I would be happy just to chill at home and instead my kids want to have a multitude of play dates. Mostly we compromise - one day a week is always reserved as a 'home day' and weekends are kept as family-only time where poss. If my kids want to meet up with lots of friends during the week I invite them all over on the same day if poss. Sometimes it's better to have one manic day than children over every day! If your child is old enough can she not just be dropped at someone's house? We often do chilcare swaps among our local Home edders.Big mamma froghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03006397435397636499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-50824406057101265412011-05-14T18:26:09.647-03:002011-05-14T18:26:09.647-03:00Love this post.
We don't officially homesch...Love this post. <br /><br />We don't officially homeschool, but for various reasons our son isn't in preschool, and we get that question too. Socialization does not have to mean tossing a bunch of kids together. Our son has gone everywhere with us since he was two days old. He can talk up an adult better than some themselves, he can communicate with kids his own age, and he is extremely empathetic to those younger than him. He learned all that by doing.Vanessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07451573006218169873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-86913833829775379282011-05-14T17:48:03.842-03:002011-05-14T17:48:03.842-03:00Very well said! I'm sure so many others will a...Very well said! I'm sure so many others will appreciate your opinion on this much debated topic. It's obvious you have provided so many fun, educational, and social opportunities for James. Who would have thought your small island would offer SO much! Lucky you :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-56603896282019949102011-05-14T17:40:54.473-03:002011-05-14T17:40:54.473-03:00Great post. The socialization question always anno...Great post. The socialization question always annoys me too. When I'm feeling particularly snarky, I ask "socialized to what"? and make the questioner grapple with exactly what it is they want to their children to socialize to. The "mainstream", a Disneyfied-life, cliques and bullying, to become good little worker bees...the list goes on.fjkellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16819863361116352714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-12751027498966134372011-05-14T17:31:47.217-03:002011-05-14T17:31:47.217-03:00Um. Yeah. That's the most annoying question ab...Um. Yeah. That's the most annoying question about homeschooling that I am asked. And you made SUCH great points!!! AWESOME!!! LOVE THIS!!!! When I am asked that I just say, "Have you SEEN the size of my family??? We ARE own own social network!" :)Boy Crazyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11804655113500789222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-34079437754777024822011-05-14T17:24:42.785-03:002011-05-14T17:24:42.785-03:00Great post! I think to often people just hear hom...Great post! I think to often people just hear home school and don't give it a chance. <br /><br />I wanted to say that your thought about having your son order at a restaurant stuck a cord with me. I know that this is not at all what this post was addressing. But all too often I find myself answering for my kids when I swore up and down before they were born I would NEVER do that. How that my oldest is three he is feeling comfortable to talk to others openly. Thanks for the reminder!Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04858011528925442820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681682116832899311.post-84981565521319516482011-05-14T17:11:33.311-03:002011-05-14T17:11:33.311-03:00I've also found that homeschooled children are...I've also found that homeschooled children are more likely to be comfortable interacting with kids and adults of all ages. Where the traditional public school kid is surrounded every day by kids only their age, my kids interact with people of all ages and walks of life. Which I think is actually better socialization.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00931272085927740881noreply@blogger.com