Grace & Courtesy - Table Manners

For those unfamiliar with the term "Grace and Courtesy" as it pertains to Montessori, in short, it simply means is teaching a child manners - the social graces and common courtesies that one should have when they interact with others.

Over the past couple of months I've been teaching James about table manners - a very important and very necessary skill set that everyone should learn. Unfortunately, I feel like I am in the minority when it comes to placing value on this form of etiquette. I don't mean to sound uppity - I just think being able to sit across the table from someone and enjoy a nice meal without seeing them pick their teeth or hog the food, is a good thing and something few people (young and old!) seem to know how to do.

That said, I'm making a point to teach James how to conduct himself properly during a meal. I've been staging lessons during our daily snack time and it's really benefited him. James has always had pretty good table manners (he doesn't run around at the restaurant, he knows not to put his feet on the table, etc.), but it's those little refinements that he's come a long way with.

~pouring water for a friend~

During our lessons we always invite some "friends" (stuffed animals) to join us to provide more opportunity for practicing grace and courtesy. :)

Here's a list of the things (in very random order) that we've focused on:
:: Washing our hands before eating.
:: Pulling out a chair for someone/pushing in our own chairs when we've finished our meal.
:: How to deal with coughing, burping, sniffles (or any other bodily noises). :)
:: Saying please and thank you.
:: Excusing ourselves when we need to leave the table or after the aforementioned noises.
:: Chewing with our mouth closed.
:: Not speaking while there's food in our mouth.
:: Not speaking to someone else when there's food in their mouth. (I explained that it's rude to ask someone a question when they've just taken a bite of food as it makes the person feel as though they need to rush through their bite, which isn't comfortable).
:: Sitting up straight and still while eating.
:: Facing forward and eating over our plate.
:: Using a napkin and other utensils properly. (My ex-stepmother thought straws were not only for drinking out of, but also for cleaning her teeth!)
:: Not making rude remarks about the food and instead offering compliments to the chef. :) (I love this one since I'm the primary chef in the house!)
:: Not hoarding food or taking the last food item unless you're really hungry in which case you make sure no one else wants whatever it is.
:: Proper topics of conversation and those that are off limits (i.e. subjects involving poop/blood/other gross things).
:: Keeping elbows (and other body parts) off the table.
:: Clearing your dishes/helping to clear the table when the meal is finished.
:: Not playing with our food/avoiding a deliberate mess.
:: Serving/offering food to others before ourselves.
:: Not taking food off of another person's plate.
:: Eating slowly/not stuffing our mouth full of food.
:: Waiting until everyone is served before eating. (So few people do this - such a pet peeve of mine!) and waiting until everyone is finished before leaving the table.
:: Offering thanks and appreciation to the host, specifically complimenting one particular dish.
:: Not reaching over someone's plate and instead asking for something to be passed.
:: Saying grace before the meal starts (this is, of course, dependent on each family's beliefs).

Yes, I know, this is quite a long list. But it's really just basic stuff and much of it is just a matter of doing it once or twice before it becomes second nature. Also, I'm sure there are many more "rules" that could be added to this list - this is all just off the top of my head. Feel free to add others in the comment section, if you'd like.

Learning and mastering table manners is definitely going to be a work in progress for a long time. James is only 4 and so the whole sitting still at the table idea seems to be physically impossible right now lol! We're just introducing things early on so he'll have these manners down pat by the time he's a teen. :)

Lastly, with regard to the actual table setting, we've already focused on the basics here, but someday I will explain to James a more detailed table setting and what all those extra spoons and forks are for!

~Thank you for your comments!~